For those of us who love Walt Disney World, our “real” life is spent thinking about and planning our next trip. We daydream about past trips and what we want to do next time. Some even live by the motto, “I work to pay for my Disney trips!” However, some things about our Disney trips are just unbearable. Here are my top 10 reasons to despise Disney! (*Just kidding, not really!)
1) You Can’t Live There – Unfortunately, your family, friends, and even Disney would frown on you living the rest of your life at Pop Century! Plus, the cost would be higher than your rent or mortgage! Maybe you could coerce Disney into letting you stay in the Cinderella Castle Suite. Or better yet, you could secretly remain in the Magic Kingdom after closing, and sleep in the Haunted Mansion!
2) You Eventually Have to Leave – Unless you are independently wealthy, you will eventually have to go back home and earn more money for more Disney vacations. Maybe you can talk your rich uncle into buying you the Beach Club Resort! Even when I’m having the time of my life on day 1 or 2 of my Disney trip, somewhere in the back of my mind, I know I’ll have to go home soon.
3) Not So Magical Express – On the way back to the Orlando airport, Magical Express should be renamed the “Sad Bus”! Leaving Disney property, after a magical vacation, is like a punch in the face! Next time, I’m going to chain myself to the concierge desk!
4) Mouse Ears – At Disney World, everyone wears Mickey Mouse ears. When I wear mine at work, my co-workers laugh at me! They keep telling me Disney World is just for kids. In the spirit of Peter Pan, I don’t want to grow up!
5) That Royal Feeling – The minute you enter your Disney hotel lobby, the cast members treat you like royalty, whether you’re staying at All-Star Movies or The Grand Floridian. At home, my wife makes me take out the trash! I really upset her when I called her cellphone and requested extra pillows!
6) Disney Food – Seasoned Disney travelers know, there are no calories at Disney. If I eat like that at home, I’ll explode! Plus, ice cream for breakfast sets a bad example for the kids! Having such imcomparable fare at Disney World ruins all other dining experiences back home.
7) Other Vacations – After discovering the magic of Disney, other vacation destinations, like the Grand Canyon, Miami Beach, and exotic foreign lands seem so… well, boring! I mean seriously, who wants to see a big hole in the ground anyways? Thanks to Disney, I’m ruined for any other excursions.
8) Magic Bands – It’s too easy to scan my MagicBand in the gift shops! I want one of everything! When I get my credit card statement, I despise those Magic Bands! Did I really need all those coffee mugs, t-shirts and Goofy hats?
9) Fireworks – Disney has conditioned me to expect a spectacular, awe-inspiring fireworks show every night before I go to bed! I tried shooting off a few bottle rockets in the back yard, but my neighbor called the cops! Disturbing the peace? I just can’t fall asleep without hearing the Illuminations music!
10) Disney Characters – I truly love character dining at Disney and it makes me expect to see familiar Disney faces when I’m eating back home. I keep expecting Mickey Mouse or Cinderella to show up at my breakfast each morning at home! The only character that shows up for my breakfast is my mother-in-law, and she gets tired of me asking her to sign my autograph book!
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